Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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