is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
