And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize