how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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