I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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