I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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