I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My vagina is officially offended.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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