I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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