God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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