when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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