sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
