I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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