i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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