O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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