Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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