We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize