I'm lost and stupid without you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
