I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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