carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
