Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
