bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
