Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
