i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
