someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
