If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
