the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
