My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
