i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I need to calm my uterus...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
