Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
