In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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