It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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