Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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