All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I have fence marks all over my body
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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