Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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