I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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