Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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