You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he shaved USA in his pubs
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
