I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
