I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
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The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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