Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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