love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
