she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
