you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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