My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just had sex bonerless
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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