found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
