You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
