Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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