why didn't you poke me back
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
