Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
God, I missed his penis.
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