It's Friday. Sex?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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