I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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