Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
