pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
