Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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