i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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