my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
