Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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