C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize