Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
