she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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