I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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