By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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