Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........

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  (918): If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........ http://tfl.nu/fan3
  Replies (13) Good night (709) Bad night (3315)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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  (773): you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE" http://tfl.nu/hmmg
  Replies (17) Good night (6507) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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  (330): This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM? http://tfl.nu/jjdh
  Replies (23) Good night (5052) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
  Replies (15) Good night (6119) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  (901): He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/xizg
  Replies (12) Good night (841) Bad night (6407)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  told you he was gay.

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  (401): he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head... (1-401): told you he was gay. http://tfl.nu/35fi
  Replies (18) Good night (1226) Bad night (6808)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas

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  (815): Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas http://tfl.nu/uer1
  Replies (2) Good night (2785) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist

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  (336): I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist http://tfl.nu/uq4m
  Replies (2) Good night (1618) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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  (504): You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3jk2
  Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (1748)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm two sheets to the sexual wind

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  (859): I'm two sheets to the sexual wind http://tfl.nu/hwsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1222) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  How can a condom be "half used"?

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  (218): Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face (763): How can a condom be "half used"? http://tfl.nu/3d85
  Replies (13) Good night (1497) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......

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  (586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet...... http://tfl.nu/yh71
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.

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  (616): Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS. http://tfl.nu/6mor
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened

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  (616): We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink (1-616): Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened http://tfl.nu/0an5
  Replies (1) Good night (1015) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...

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  (705): He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed... http://tfl.nu/v5ft
  Replies (4) Good night (599) Bad night (324)

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