Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Why does Jon Cryer have a career?

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  That is a good question.

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  (860): Why does Jon Cryer have a career? (1-860): That is a good question. http://tfl.nu/v28q
  Replies (14) Good night (1282) Bad night (713)
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  (914): View more from New York

  when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"

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  (914): when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing" http://tfl.nu/damz
  Replies (27) Good night (751) Bad night (3881)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.

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  (973): I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance. http://tfl.nu/0bj8
  Replies (13) Good night (4267) Bad night (853)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture

  (1-336): View more from North Carolina

  Glad to see your being a lady about this

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  (336): I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture (1-336): Glad to see your being a lady about this http://tfl.nu/pcgd
  Replies (49) Good night (9464) Bad night (1274)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.

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  (860): There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now. http://tfl.nu/p8mk
  Replies (6) Good night (3257) Bad night (834)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.

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  (402): 21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion. http://tfl.nu/915q
  Replies (6) Good night (3542) Bad night (754)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (1331)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.

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  (813): I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now. http://tfl.nu/w7s6
  Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (449)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers

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  (201): So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers http://tfl.nu/32bd
  Replies (11) Good night (498) Bad night (1124)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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  (801): You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address? (650): I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days. http://tfl.nu/fel9
  Replies (3) Good night (978) Bad night (342)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.

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  (540): When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become. http://tfl.nu/2ybp
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (329)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out

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  (613): Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out http://tfl.nu/hcl3
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (203)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  The fuck? Where?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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  (226): I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy. (613): The fuck? Where? (226): St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/bh0m
  Replies (8) Good night (823) Bad night (271)
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  (510): View more from California

  How do we stop her downward spiral?

  (1-510): View more from California

  Wine. For us.

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  (510): How do we stop her downward spiral? (1-510): Wine. For us. http://tfl.nu/x3co
  Replies (6) Good night (565) Bad night (282)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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  (601): This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt. http://tfl.nu/idus
  Replies (4) Good night (258) Bad night (560)

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