I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day