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• (415): View more from California

  God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Hookers taste better with whip cream

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fair enough

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."

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• (409): View more from Texas

  i wish i coudl send you meat via computure

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Haahahahahahhaaa

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?

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