Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
